Professor Dallas Willard (1935-2013) was teaching one day at the University of Southern California when a student challenged him in class with critical and inaccurate comments about his lecture. Dallas, so competent in the art of persuasion and public debate, paused as if to weigh his options about what to say next. He announced it was a good place to stop and dismissed the class. Several students asked Dallas later why he didn’t counter the student and put him in his place. He replied, “I’m practicing the discipline of not having to have the last word.”
Dallas’ lasting contribution to American churches was helping recover neglected spiritual practices like prayer, Scripture meditation and spiritual friendship. He sought to rescue the church from nominal Christianity. He lamented the great number of church goers who failed to make any appreciable progress toward becoming fully formed disciples. He regretted that we have made following Jesus optional in the church. No wonder the American church is in spiritual decline. Our churches are full of what he called “un-discipled disciples.”
Dallas spoke at a conference in 2013, months before his death. An interviewer, aware of his aforementioned practice of not getting in the last word, asked him to elaborate. Dallas said having the last word is primarily a way to gain superiority over people. Some of us have an overpowering NEED to always be right. If we say it last, we have won the argument. Since when is winning arguments the goal in family and friendship? His prayer looks to God to break down our defenses in leading us into the abundant life God intends for us: