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Apr 25, 2023

C. S. Lewis

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He was a well-known British novelist and Oxford professor. She was an American poet and accomplished writer. He supported democracy. She had been a member of the American Communist Party. He wrote children’s stories. She was a child prodigy. He was a middle-aged bachelor. She was divorced with two young sons. He was a committed Christian. She was an avowed atheist. It was, by all accounts, a most improbable love story.
C.S. Lewis (1899-1963) and Joy Davidman (1915-1960) were pen pals at the outset. They continued a two-year correspondence before meeting in person. What began as intellectual companionship evolved into spiritual friendship and intimate marriage. Their union was cut short by Joy’s cancer. C. S. reflected on their brief three-year marriage in his deeply personal reflections in A Grief Observed.  “Shadowlands” was a dramatized version of their story on British television in the early 1990s that became a Broadway play and feature movie. In the movie, C.S.’s friend, Rev. Harry Harrington, spoke about Joy’s cancer to C.S., “I know how hard you’ve been praying,” to which C.S. responded, “That’s not why I pray. I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time–waking and sleeping. Prayer doesn’t change God.  It changes me.”

I couldn’t find a prayer written by these two unlikely Christian converts.  While C.S. Lewis wrote often about prayer, he was reticent, even shy about sharing personal prayers with his readers.  He wrote a poem late in his life, “The Apologist’s Evening Prayer,” as his popularity as a Christian apologist (one who defends the faith) soared.  At the end of the day, it’s not our clever words or perceived victories in verbal sparring that win people to Christ.  God’s grace prevails!  It’s a helpful corrective for any who attempt to speak for God.  Lord of the narrow way (Mt. 7.14) and the needle’s eye (Mt.19.24), take away all trumpery (worthless things) and deliver me:

From all my lame defeats and oh! much more.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            From all the victories that I seemed to score;
From cleverness shot forth on Thy behalf
At which, while angels weep, the audience laugh;
From all my proofs of my divinity,
Thou, who wouldst give no sign, deliver me.

Thoughts are but coins.  Let me not trust, instead
of Thee, their thin-worn image of Thy head.
From all my thoughts,
even from my thoughts of Thee,
O thou fair Silence, fall, and set me free.
Lord of the narrow gate and needle’s eye,
Take from me all my trumpery lest I die.

Rev. Dr. Peter James served 42 years as the senior of Vienna Presbyterian Church in Vienna, VA — 21 years in the 20th century and 21 years in the 21st century. He retired in 2021 and now serves as Pastor-in-Residence at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.

Even as a pastor, prayer came slowly to Pete. Read Pete’s story.