Aloneness gets a bad rap in our day. We equate aloneness with loneliness, yet it’s possible to be alone without being lonely. Aloneness is not loneliness when we are in the company of God. One danger of so much online connectivity is the temptation to avoid solitude. Dietrich Bonhoeffer offered this insight in Life Together, “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community…Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.” There are pitfalls in either direction. God intended community and solitude to complement each other. The company of other people can correct our distorted self-perceptions, while solitude gives God time and space to do deep work in us.
People in church history who lived the solitary life (called anchorites or anchoresses) have something to teach us. Richard Rolle (1300-1349) was a nineteen-year-old student at the University of Oxford, England who left his promising scholastic career to pursue solitude. After years of living alone for purposes of prayer, he wrote about the virtues of solitude in his book, The Fire of Love, “People do not approve of a solitary life because they know nothing about it…I do not doubt that if they did in fact have some knowledge of the solitary life, they would be praising it…A man is alone indeed if God is not with him…He who for God’s sake has chosen the solitary life and lives it properly, knows not so much woe as wonderful strength.” Solitude can be a source of strength. The adage, “Don’t knock it until you try it” is essentially Richard’s counsel. He leads us in prayer today: